If you seek to get the festive vibes on point, then these Funny Christmas Quotes are just the right thing for you. These spot-on quotes would make everyone tickle and make you the star of the party.
These quotes are not just funny but have a striking association with the Christmas traditions and folklore as well.
Christmas is all about laying out uncontrollable, unrestrained love, happiness, cheer, warmth, and joy. The spirit of Christmas preaches giving out your true and best self to the world.
So this season, why not give lots of excitement by these quick-witted funny Christmas quotes. They’re surely going to help you to spread goodwill to your fellow beings.
These quotes are tailor-made for all the amazing people who love to make others chuckle with their jokes. Christmas is the time when enjoyment is at it’s peak.
So, here you have the chance to contribute to the festive enjoyment with these awesome Christmas quotes. This Christmas, you can be someone’s Santa too!!!
Funny Christmas Quotes with Images
“The one thing women don’t want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband.”
The Christmas tradition of hanging stockings for Santa is well-known. It’s believed that Santa stuffs them with your favorite goodies like chocolates, gums or snacks when he arrives.
But women would never want Santa to leave their husbands as gifts in the stockings. For, we all expect fresh stuff in stockings, who would want that same old man who is already yours! So funny quote :D!
“Christmas is the season when you buy this year’s gifts with next year’s money”
Giving and receiving gifts is an integral part of Christmas celebrations. Presents are the token of love and care. And so, people love to splurge on gifts and shower gratitude towards their friends and family.
But in the process, many times they overdo it. They get stuck in the debt trap where they use up their savings and even borrow money. This funny quote reminds us that the main spirit of Christmas is joy and not hustle.
“Christmas is a magical time of year… I just watched all my money magically disappear.”
This funny Christmas quote perfectly describes the huge expenses that Christmas brings with itself. People go all-out in buying gifts, décor, lighting and delicacies for festival binges.
While people shop insanely for the celebration, they totally forget to keep a check on their wallets, only to find it completely empty later on.
“One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day. Don’t clean it up too quickly.” – Andy Rooney’s quote
Festival approaches and sneaking behind it comes the huge mess. But there’s something uniquely warm and cozy about the Christmas mess. It’s not just the frills and décor that lie around, it’s also about the joy, the warmth, the thrill that surrounds you.
“Even before Christmas has said Hello, it’s saying “Buy Buy”” – Robert Paul.
All women can definitely relate to this funny Christmas Quote!!! Even months before the festival approaches, the excitement starts to sink in. After all, Christmas is the time to shop and pamper yourself.
For most people, Christmas vibes are all about purchasing gifts, decorations and Christmas goodies. And not to forget, the huge Christmas sales that prompt you to shop till you drop!!
It’s one of the most marvelous messes in the world. Swirl it. Smell it. Enjoy it sip by sip. Don’t devour it off too quickly!!
“Three phrases that sum up Christmas are: Peace on Earth, Goodwill to Men, and Batteries not Included”
We all know Christmas is incomplete without the Carols. Peace on Earth, Goodwill to Men. The serenity and comfort these Carols bring to you…. It’s splendid.
But other than this there is one more thing without which Christmas is half-done. And that is “Batteries not included” etched on the battery-operated toys that you’re gifted by your Santa!!
“Mentally I am ready for Christmas, financially I am not ready for Christmas”
Ecstasy of Christmas starts to settle in weeks before Christmas. The delicious food, the lively décor, the lightings, and gifts all bring such merry feelings.
However, mentally folks are prepared for Christmas but financially it strains them a lot. So it’s better to keep a list of expected finances handy all the time. A little extra push can go a long way in increasing bucks generation and make your Christmas truly merry.
“What I like about Christmas is that you can make people forget the past with the present” – Funny Christmas quote from Don Marquis
Many times conflicts and misunderstandings arise between people. But a present or a pleasant gesture can make people forget all old woes and create sweet new memories.
Christmas is all about spreading cheer in the world and bringing happiness to people. This Christmas quote perfectly describes how the past can easily be forgotten with the help of a thoughtful present.
“There are three stages of man: he believes in Santa Claus; he does not believe in Santa Claus; he is Santa Claus”
The person who wrote this must have been a genius. This quote is so funny and deeply meaningful at the same time. It’s amusing how a man goes through all these stages in his lifetime.
As a toddler, he believes in Santa and even behaves obediently to get a good gift from Santa. Then, there’s the stage when he matures and understands that Santa Claus is just fiction.
After that he grows up and now he himself becomes Santa Claus, giving his best to his family and society.
“There are a lot of things money can’t buy. Not one of them is on my son’s list.” – Milton Berle’s funny quote on Chritmas.
Some of the most precious things in life are so expensive that even money can’t buy them. Happiness, love, health, time and virtues are some of these things.
Many times, children get awed by costly gifts and behave stubbornly to get them. Little ones don’t know the true meaning behind Christmas gifts. And so they value gifts more than the feelings hidden behind them.
Short Funny Christmas Quotes
We associate Christmas with warmth and amiability. These Funny Christmas Quotes are a perfect fit for people who love to be the center of attraction.
These quotes are guaranteed to help you live meaningfully and make you happier. The true meaning of Christmas is to offer yourself completely to the world, just like Lord Jesus Christ did.
In the same way, these short funny Christmas quotes are definitely going to give you a helping hand in bringing happiness to people.
“What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.” – Phyllis Diller
- “You know you’re getting old when Santa starts looking younger” – Robert Paul
- “At Christmas, tea is compulsory. Relatives are optional” – Robert Godden
- “Christmas is a baby shower that went totally overboard” – Andy Borowitz
“Christmas is a time when you get homesick, even if you’re home” – Carol Nelson
- “A Christmas shopper’s complaint is one of long-standing”
- “There’s nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child” – Erma Bombeck
- “What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic” – Anonymous
- “Peace on earth will come to stay, when we live Christmas every day” – Helen Steiner Rice
“It’s that’s special time of year when your whole family gathers together in one place to look at their cellphones” – Jimmy Kimmel
- “Christmas to a child is the first terrible proof that to travel hopefully is better than to arrive” – Stephen John Fry
- “Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall” – Larry Wilde
- “Christmas is a race to see which gives out first—your money or your feet”
- “Some people are born for Halloween, and some are just counting the days until Christmas” – Stephen Johns
More funny quotes for Christmas
It’s said that the significance of the Christmas bells is to ring out old and ring in new. So why not, this Christmas season ring out all old burdens and ring in cheerfulness, love, and pleasures.
Trust these Christmas quotes to help you a lot in making people giggle their hearts out. We all know that nothing is better than raising someone’s spirits and brightening someone’s day.
So, make use of these funny quotes to bring merry to humankind. Therefore, do share these funny Christmas quotes with your friends and family!!
“Christmas is always a problem to the man who has to convince his kids that there is a Santa Claus, and his wife that there isn’t” – Evan Esar
- “You can just hear Santa saying ‘Ho, Ho, Ho’ when you receive your credit card statement in January” – Kate Summers
- “I never get to see Santa Claus come down the chimney because I always get too tired and fall asleep from eating all his cookies while waiting for him” – Theodore W. Higginsworth
“Dear Santa, This year, please give me a fat bank account and a slim body. And please don’t mix those two up like you did last year. Thanks”
- “I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph” – Shirley Temple
- “Although it is pleasant to think about poison at any season, there is something special about Christmas, and I found myself grinning” – Alan Bradley